Introduction
Once upon a time, in the vast landscape of human existence, there emerged a fascinating phenomenon: neurologically based companions nestled deep within each of us. These extraordinary companions are not visible to the naked eye, but their presence can be felt in the intricate workings of our minds.
These neurologically based companions within us form an intricate network, collaborating harmoniously to support our overall well-being. They are not separate entities but integral parts of our being, interwoven into the very fabric of our existence.Understanding and acknowledging these companions allows us to forge a deeper connection with ourselves.
As we embark on our journey of self-discovery, we realize that these companions are not isolated fragments but interconnected forces working in harmony. They represent the intricate dance of survival and thriving, guiding us towards a life of purpose, resilience, and fulfillment.
So, dear friends, let us celebrate the presence of these neurologically based companions within us. Let us cherish their support, harness their wisdom, and embark on a lifelong journey of self-discovery.
Our Companion’s Emergence
We come into this world with only one companion: Our Mystic.
This is our Wholeness and it is always, and in all ways, with us. We sense/know that we are of Something Greater. Our experience of this world begins through this lens.
And, then...
There is a realization, albeit unconscious, that we have needs in this world and that we must rely on others to keep us safe, nourished, and loved.
When our needs are met based on the present moment, our Innocent Child develops well.
This partner is loved and cared for. They are naturally joyful, playful, creative, passionate, and connected to Self, others and the world. Our Innocent Child stays connected with our Old Friend (our body’s inner wisdom) and remains an important lens through which we experience this world.
As we mature, our Innocent Child informs our Backbone Parent that all is well.
This practical, task-oriented part of us can go along its way being flexible and supportive of our spontaneous child and stays connected to our Old Friend, while living functionally in this world. Together they thrive.
However, if our care providers are unable to meet our needs, then we accumulate experiences of neglect, abandonment, insecurity, pain and trauma. This is our proverbial baggage. A story of the past has formed and becomes the lens through which our Scared Child sees the world.
This partner becomes more dominant than their innocent counterpart in order to survive. In doing so, we get disconnected from our Old Friend who graciously becomes the depository for our unattended pain (baggage).
As a result, our Backbone Parent transforms into our Brick Wall Parent or our Jellyfish Parent, depending on life’s influences.
Either way, both of these parents aim to over-control and micro-manage our environments in order to help the Scared Child feels safe enough.
At this juncture, our Escape Artist may seek comfort through unsustainable behaviours. We attempt to run away from the insecure energy that has accumulated.
We will actively seek to numb this from inside or to move it outside. This can look like addictions, self-harm, or violence.
If life continues through this lens in increasing increments of intensity, our Zombie steps in.
There is just no more energy to keep us going, or there is no more will to even try. We may experience chronic fatigue or depression.
The good news is that our Mystic, our Innocent Child and our Backbone Parent are always available to us.
We have the choice to welcome in the awareness and care of our Grandmother (our heart) and our Old Friend (our body). When we do, we can re-orient back to a healthy perspective. A pleasant experience of our Self, others, the world and Something Greater is accessible once again.
This is our journey
From our original state of Wholeness, we may eventually experience lack of safety, care, support, and love
Hurt gets stored in our neurology (the baggage)
We act out from that place of hurt as our Brick Wall or Jellyfish Parents
Our Escape Artist seeks a way to soothe ourselves until we burn out and our Zombie emerges
We hit bottom. Our Teenager shouts, '“There’s gotta be another way!”
Finding a new way (this is where your Somatic Spiritual coach might come in for support)
Learn to slow down with our Grandmother
Drop into our inner wisdom to find our truth with our Old Friend
Identify and unload the baggage that our Scared Child carries
Living from wholeness through our neurology, our original wiring
We access our Backbone Parent, the part of Self who leads us to work with new tools - know our value, how to regulate your nervous system, find people with whom to co-regulate
We access our Innocent Child, the part of self who can play and create
We access our Mystic, the part of Self connected to the wider whole
These are our phases
Out of control/over-control while dysregulated and surviving
Control and self-regulation
Letting go of control and auto-regulating/thriving
Ready to explore more deeply? I recommend starting with the companion that resonates most with you, and then continuing until you have met your full team.
